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Silent Night, Deadly Night w/ Chad Clark

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Not unlike me, while slasher movies weren’t invented in the eighties, the eighties was when slasher movies became great. See what I did there? In all seriousness, though, ask anyone to name a slasher movie and chances are, most people will name one of the big three, Friday The 13th, Nightmare On Elm Street or Halloween, all of which have been remade over the past ten years or so. And all of them really took root in the consciousness of our culture in the eighties. Still, there were a number of other examples that rose out of this period and jumped on the bandwagon. Many of them were standalone films, or simply lacked the power of the majors, but there are still some good ones in there. For me, coming across these movies at the time, at the age I was, it made a huge transition in my life. I had loved movies up until that point, but it was more for the fantasy of it, the spectacle and the majesty.

This was the first time that a movie scared the shit out of me.

I never considered that film could have such a powerful, emotional effect. For the first time, I didn’t really feel safe in the theater, or on the couch. And it was from there that my love for dark fiction was born. Not because I thought the carnage was cool (although often it was) but because I loved that experience and the impact that images and words could have.

One last thing I will say in general before we get to the heart of this is one important aspect of slasher movies in the eighties. And that would be the sex. I don’t mean this in a titillating way, although at a young age, this was some of my first exposures to sex and the female anatomy. What I’m talking about is the function that sex played in the story.

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In the eighties especially, sex was like the redshirt for horror movies (sorry if you don’t get the reference here but Google is only a click away). Characters who had sex on film were almost certain to meet their grisly demise shortly after. It wasn’t unusual for someone to actually meet their end mid-coitus. The message often seen in these films was pretty plain to see.

Sex equals death.

We’re going to come back to this point so hold on to it, okay? Put a pin in it.

That brings us to the movie of the hour. Silent Night, Deadly Night.

The movie starts out with the main character as a child. After visiting his grandfather in a nursing home, Billy is forced to witness his parents murdered in front of him by a man dressed in a Santa suit. His emotional damage is furthered while living in a foster home under the supervision of a tyrannical nun, Mother Superior.

As an adult, Billy is talked into dressing up as Santa Claus for the store he works at. At some point during the night, he witnesses an act of sexual violence between two coworkers and he is triggered into launching a killing spree in the town.

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This film was the embodiment of the idea of sex leading to death. As a child, Billy is battered with Mother Superior’s influence that immoral people have sex and should be punished. This clearly has an impact on Billy as he ends up killing several people either immediately after or in the act of having sex. He literally becomes a kind of uber-violent puritanical, acting out his hatred for those who choose to engage in the sins of the flesh.

And I suppose for being naughty?

He is Santa Claus, after all.

This film was pretty controversial when it first came out, even though it was hardly the first of its kind. I think that a large issue with the public was the fact that the film was actually released during the holiday season. Also, the promotional material for the film placed a heavy emphasis on the fact that the killer was dressed as Santa Claus.

The moral outrage evidently became so outspoken that Gene Siskel actually took time out of their program to call out members of the crew by name, just so he could point his finger and say, “Shame on you.” As a result of public pressures, TriStar Pictures did end up pulling the film from theaters. It would be re-released early the next year by a smaller studio, exploiting the controversy around the film in order to promote it.

Say what you will about the movie, there was enough of a following to justify four sequels and a loose remake that came out in 2012. Interesting trivia note – the Silent Night remake featured one Malcolm McDowell, who starred in another classic horror reboot, Rob Zombie’s Halloween in 2007.

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I honestly can’t say if Silent Night, Deadly Night is that great of a film. It certainly is exploitative, loaded full of nudity and sex and graphic violence. The story is a bit on the cheesy, trope-heavy side, the innocent child drove into becoming an insane murderer by the cold, overbearing nun in the foster home. The killer who sees himself as a kind of moral avenging angel. At moments, it has the feel of an over-the-top after-school special in that it tries a little too hard to be earnest and isn’t particularly subtle.

But being honest, I don’t think that you should reasonably expect anything else from a movie like this. It would be like complaining that you got heartburn from the taquito you got at the twenty-four hours greasy taco truck. It’s a fun movie and I think that should be taken into consideration when evaluating it. If you enjoy the gore of horror movies and watch it for the kills, you’ll probably like this one.

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For me, this film is more important in relation to the point in my life in which I crossed paths with it. It was one of many films lying around in the stack of VHS tapes at home and it was when I was in grade school that I first saw it. It was scary, but there was also that thrill of watching something you weren’t supposed to see, the taboo of the thing that made it exciting. I have made a point to not rewatch this over the years, choosing to preserve my fading memories of the film as opposed to reconfiguring my viewpoint by watching it now.

Silent Night, Deadly Night will always be locked away in a memory box for me. It was a time when I was first introduced to the irreverent potential of storytelling, the emotional impact that movies could have as well as the realization that there was a whole new world out there, just waiting to be discovered on the back of a good video store membership.

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Chad Clark is a frequent flyer here on Machine Mean. He has reviewed for us before with commentary on House of Dracula (1945) and House of 1000 Corpses. Mr. Clark is a midwestern author of horror and science fiction. His artistic roots can be traced back to the golden era of horror literature, Stephen King, and Robert McCammon being large influences. His love for horror began as well in the classic horror franchises of the eighties. He resides in Iowa with his wife and two sons. Clark’s debut novel, Borrowed Time, was published in 2014. His second novel, A Shade for Every Season was released in 2015, and in 2016 Clark published Behind Our Walls, a dark look at the human condition set in a post-apocalyptic world. His latest book, Down the Beaten Path, released in September 2016. You can keep up with all of Mr. Clark’s works by following him on Amazon here.

And you do not want to miss this box set from dark fiction author Thomas S. Flowers. Still on SALE for $0.99!!!

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Book Featurette: Life After the Undead

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Seventeen-year-old Krista must quickly figure out how she’s going to survive in the zombie-destroyed world. The one advantage humans have is that the zombies hate humid environments, so they’re migrating west to escape its deteriorating effects. The survivors plan to construct a wall at North Platte to keep the undead out, and Krista has come to Nebraska to start a new life. Zombies aren’t the only creatures she has to be cautious of—the other survivors have a dark side. Krista must fight not only to live but also to defend everything she holds dear—her country, her freedom, and ultimately, those she loves. Join Krista in her quest to survive in this thrilling apocalyptic novel by Pembroke Sinclair.

What readers are saying about Life After the Undead:

“I bonded with Krista quickly because of her curiosity, the need to know why the zombies do what they do and we head to Florida, traveling through the grisly horror with the excellent writing and storyline, including a laugh or two along the way.” -Amazon Reviewer

” A young adult zombie tale that more mature adults will love as well. If you want a good clean tale, then this is the one for you. Plenty of perfectly paced writing that will grip you and keep you to the end.” -Confessions of a Reviewer.

“This was a really great zombie story. The characters were relatable and it had plenty of action to keep it riveting and suspenseful. I am really glad there is a second book so I can see where the storyline goes. If you like zombie stories, pick this one up and you’ll be hooked too.” -Amazon Reviewer

“This book was enjoyable. The world building was great and believable. The characters have the right amount of depth to make the reader feel a connection. There is an adequate number of characters. The premise was well done and the pacing was perfect. Superb book. I look forward to reading the next one.” -Allie Sumner

“I thoroughly enjoyed this book and look forward to the next in the series. Yes, there is zombies but the real drama is the fight for control over what was left after the zombies killed over 80% of humanity. The characters are easy to get to know and I was drawn to the lead female character as she grew throughout the novel and became a leader. Borrow it on KU or buy it today but read it!” -Linda C.

“I really believe that this story deserves five stars. I love The Walking Dead, so of course—I figured that I would like this book. This story portrays an accurate description of what I see in my mind if something like this were ever to happen. Not only a zombocalypse but any virus or disease of sorts that could decimate nearly an entire population. I truly sympathized with Krista and the things that she had to endure—mostly because she was alone. The originality and creativity is spectacular, the character development is superb. I am very impressed with this author’s writing style, quick pace and ability to hold me at the edge of my seat waiting to find out who will die and who will survive to see another day. I look forward to reading more by this author in the future, but would really love to read more about Krista’s continued journey with building the wall.” -Lauren Jones.

You can get your copy of Life After the Undead on Amazon for the lower price of $2.99

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Pembroke Sinclair is a literary jack of all trades, playing her hand at multiple genres. She has written an eclectic mix of fiction ranging from horror to sci-fi and even some westerns. Born in Rock Springs, Wyoming–the home of 56 nationalities–it is no wonder Pembroke ended up so creatively diverse. Her fascination with the notions of good and evil, demons and angels, and how the lines blur have inspired her writing. Pembroke lives in Laramie, Wyoming, with her husband, two spirited boys, a black lab named Ryder, and a rescue kitty named Alia, who happens to be the sweetest, most adorable kitty in the world! She cannot say no to dessert, orange soda, or cinnamon. She loves rats and tatts and rock and roll and wants to be an alien queen when she grows up.

You can learn more about Pembroke Sinclair by visiting her at:
http://pembrokesinclair.blogspot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/jessicarobinsonauthor
https://twitter.com/PembrokeSinclai
https://plus.google.com/102808614523341154478/posts
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3522214.Pembroke_Sinclair


Book Featurette: Mayan Blue

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Xibalba, home of torture and sacrifice, is the kingdom of the lord of death. He stalked the night in the guise of a putrefied corpse, with the head of an owl and adorned with a necklace of disembodied eyes that hung from nerve cords. He commanded legions of shapeshifting creatures, spectral shamans, and corpses hungry for the flesh of the living. The Mayans feared him and his realm of horror. He sat atop his pyramid temple surrounded by his demon kings and demanded sacrifices of blood and beating hearts as a tribute to him and his ghostly world. These legends, along with those that lived in fear of them, have been dead and gone for centuries. Yet now, a doorway has been opened in Georgia. A group of college students seek their missing professor, a man who has secretly uncovered the answer to one of history’s greatest mysteries. However, what they find is more than the evidence of a hidden civilization. It’s also a gateway to a world of living nightmares.

Mayan Blue according to reviewers:

“Mayan Blue is my first exposure the authors, who seem to have built up their reputation far prior to my reading of this. Frankly, I’m kicking myself in the butt for it. I’m not sure if anyone has seen the Fred Olen Ray film SCALPS, but if that film had been made with some artistic ability, 20 times the budget and production value…I am pretty sure we would have Mayan Blue. This is a very, very good thing. I love the hell out of this book, and if you’re a fan of the gorier, faster-paced stuff, I’m pretty sure you will too. Subtle and gentle horror? It’s not for you. For me, MAYAN BLUE has me anxiously awaiting the sister’s next book!” -Brandon St. Pierre

“I thoroughly enjoyed Mayan Blue, the debut novel from sisters Michelle Garza and Melissa Lason. This fast-paced, action-packed thrill ride is guaranteed to entertain and scare readers. The characters are well-developed and relatable, especially Wes. His desire to protect Alissa is heartfelt and compelling. I loved the detail and effort put into creating the mythos and creatures. The gory details are what make horror lovers like me smile. I can’t wait for their next release” -Amazon Reviewer.

“Let me start off by saying, this book is bonkers. And I mean that in the best possible way. Quick synopsis: A small group of students search for their missing professor, who has opened a portal to the Mayan Underworld somewhere in Georgia. Mayan Blue is a lot of things. It’s horror, dark fantasy, and adventure all rolled into one kick-ass, balls-to-the-wall action story. It’s like if Tomb Raider and The Ruins got frisky with Nightbreed and the three of them had a baby. If there’s one thing you need to know going in, note that it’s a bloodbath. You’d think the Sisters of Slaughter would be a dead giveaway, but just when you think there can’t possibly be more blood to spill, these authors find away to cut and slice, rip and mutilate. While the story borrows some cheesy 80’s slasher cliches (which I love), the book manages to stay fresh and imaginative, and that’s due to the writers’ keen eye for world-building. I loved the way they painted the Mayan underworld, Xibalba, with such detail. Rich descriptive narratives and beautiful dark prose elevate what could have been a very routine, gore-reliant killfest into one of the most impressive debut novels I’ve read in quite some time. Debut novels often sport flaws, and while Mayan Blue isn’t perfect, it’s a damn fine story with great pacing, perfect for killing off an afternoon or two. I enjoyed Mayan Blue and recommend it to anyone who’s a fan of old-school Brian Keene novels, horror that goes for the throat instead of chills. There’s not many lulls between the action. Bloody entertaining. I can’t wait to see what the Sisters of Slaughter come up with next. So, in all – READ THIS BOOK. Just remember to bring a barf bag. You might need it. This book is metal” -Tim Meyer. 

You can purchase your copy of Mayan Blue for the low price of $2.99.

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Michelle is from Arizona. She writes alongside her twin sister, Melissa Lason. They have been dubbed The Sisters of Slaughter. They write horror, science fiction and dark fantasy. Their work has been featured in FRESH MEAT by Sinister Grin Press, WISHFUL THINKING by fireside press, WIDOWMAKERS a benefit anthology of dark fiction and Michelle had a poem included in the POETRY SHOWCASE VOLUME ONE put out by the HWA. They have stories soon to be released in anthologies by JEA, including REJECTED FOR CONTENT 3, FATA ARCANA and MALES VS FEMALES.

Fright Fest: House of a 1000 Corpses (2003)

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Growing up, I developed a love very early on for movies. I loved the magic of the visual experience and the big, grand storytelling on the screen at the theater. I felt a strong connection to the narrative form and from a very early age, I had a sense that this was something that I would want to do. And for as much as I loved movies in general, there was one particular genre, one type of film that reached out and took my by the collar, forced me to sit back and pay attention.

I love horror movies.

I think that early on, this largely came from the feeling of taboo I had while watching the movies. You really felt like you were watching something that was bad for you, something you shouldn’t be allowed to see. This was augmented quite a bit by the most prevalent use of practical special effects. This was a pre-digital age in which everything on the stage had a physical presence. If you wanted to show someone being shot or hacked to pieces, that action had to be shown while the scene was filmed. You couldn’t just add it in post-production, it had to happen right there. And as a result, I think that movies had a more intimate and immediate feeling of danger and dread to them.

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This is not going to be a diatribe on why I think CGI is awful, it’s just a different kind of filmmaking. But I have always felt a particular fondness and affinity for the style of horror movies in the eighties as the place where I got started.

It was with this mental framework going through me that I saw House Of 1000 Corpses for the first time.

I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t think modern horror movies are scary. There have been plenty of examples of horror done right. But I do often feel like horror movies in the digital era have a feeling of looking too clean, almost sanitized. It’s ironic because digital effects make it possible to show things that would have been inconceivable twenty years ago, but there is an art form to using that technology effectively. The more extensive and intrusive the effects get, the more separated I tend to feel from the story.

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House Of 1000 Corpses had none of these problems. I was taken in, pretty much from the start and I was not turning off that film for anything. There haven’t been many of the newer horror films that have held my interest as much, and taken me right back to that place where I was at the age of eleven.

The story of the movie is simple enough, which I think is essential for good horror. I think it’s a common pitfall to think that you have to be constantly re-inventing something and striking out to find new ground. Any story told well is going to be good, regardless of how stale you might find the form it takes. In the film, two couples are out on a road trip, exploring local urban legends and locals when they end up being drawn into the clutches of the worst kind of backwater sadistic family you could imagine. All of these are devices that have been used before, to be sure, but Rob Zombie still manages to take them and turn it all into a hell of a film.

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One thing that really got me was the characters of the film. On paper, characters like Captain Spaulding, Mother Firefly, and Otis might come across as silly or stereotypical. But on the screen, those actors transformed them into something fresh and amazing. I loved the sense of dread that the film evoked from the opening scenes, a feeling that held true all throughout. In a way, there are moments in the film where I found myself more engaged by the monsters than I was with the heroes. Oh, and as a side note, for those of you who get a kick out of seeing famous actors in roles before they hit it big, you get a chance to see Dwight Schrute from the office in a pretty radically different role.

House Of 1000 Corpses has an incredible feeling of danger, of foreboding that the heroes of the story are clearly oblivious to. It’s the kind of film that has you wincing the whole way through, mostly in anticipation of what you fear is about to happen. And while there are some bizarre elements to the film, there was no point where I felt like Zombie lost control over the direction of the story. It all felt extremely tight and well-crafted to me.

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This is the kind of movie that makes you feel like you need to take a shower after you see it. It is an intense and gritty film and while tons of studios will use language like that as a tagline, in this case, I feel that it is actually well earned. Personally, I think that the true home for horror films is in the low budget, independent film industry. To each their own, but the big budget glossy horror flicks just don’t work as well for me. They can be entertaining for what they are, almost like summer blockbusters with some jump scares added. But what I really love is a horror film that grinds into you and forces you to keep thinking about it, long after you leave the theater. As far as I’m concerned, this is what any great art should do. It should challenge you and make you think. This film has all of that and more.

It’s interesting that as Rob Zombie’s film successes have led to him getting larger budget productions, I have actually come to like his work less and less. I was excited to see him do a sequel to this film, The Devil’s Rejects but in the end, I wasn’t really blown away by it. I enjoyed it but much less so than the original. I actually enjoyed his re-boot of Halloween but I couldn’t make it through the second. For me, my feelings for Rob Zombie’s films are always going to be tied directly to this movie. If he had never made it, I don’t know if I would feel the same about his overall body of work. Regardless, what I do know is that House Of 1000 Corpses stands for me as one of my favorite horror films of the last twenty years.

 

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Chad Clark – Has reviewed for us before with commentary on House of Dracula (1945). Mr. Clark is a midwestern author of horror and science fiction. His artistic roots can be traced back to the golden era of horror literature, Stephen King, and Robert McCammon being large influences. His love for horror began as well in the classic horror franchises of the eighties. He resides in Iowa with his wife and two sons. Clark’s debut novel, Borrowed Time, was published in 2014. His second novel, A Shade for Every Season was released in 2015, and in 2016 Clark published Behind Our Walls, a dark look at the human condition set in a post-apocalyptic world. His latest book, Down the Beaten Path, released in September 2016. You can keep up with all of Mr. Clark’s works by following him on Amazon here.

Did you like what you read here? Be sure to subscribe to our SPAM FREE newsletter. Keep in the loop with new book releases, sales, giveaways, future articles, guest posts, and of course…a free eBook copy of Strange Authors, an anthology that includes some of the weirdest and vilest writers in the horror community. (click below).

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Universal Monsters in Review: Our Awesomely Horrifying Guest Authors

And that’s a wrap. The end of Universal Monsters in Review has come. Much as I said during last week’s review on the silent era of horror, I will certainly miss my weekend screening of these horrible yet awesome classic black and white pictures from the vault of Universal. I’d like to actually start making this a thing, something set aside for my weekend leisure, putting in ole Frankenstein or his Bride or The Wolf Man or The Mummy or Dracula, or even some of the lesser-known flicks, like Invisible Agent or any of the A&C ones. To think of the impact these movies had on future movie makers, and not just those dark producers and directors, but also the writers, both on screen and on print, is mind boggling. Personally speaking, the Universal classics have impacted some of my own creature/monster creations. And still do. The underlying mythos is nearly too much to avoid. These are the pillars for a reason. Certainly the same could be said of this up and coming generation of young writers and even the guest authors we’ve had during this series, tackling the movies that inspired them in some way. So, on this very last Universal Monsters in Review review, I’d like to shout out to all my guest authors that participated, the movie(s) they reviewed and a little bit about them and where you can buy their work.

Our Guests

(in order of appearance)

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Daniel Marc Chant – Reviewed for us both The Mummy (1932) and The Creature Walks Among Us (1956). Mr. Chant is the published author of several terrifying tales, including Maldicion, Burning House, and his newest venture, Mr. Robespierre.  Daniel is also one of the founders of The Sinister Horror Company, the publishing team that brought us such frights as, The Black Room Manuscripts and God Bomb!. You can follow Daniel on his blog, here. And you can read his review on Mummy here.

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Jeffery X. Martin – Reviewed for us The Wolf Man (1941) and The Invisible Man’s Revenge (1944) and Revenge of the Creature (1955). Mr. X is the published author of several stories that are sure to shock, including those in the Elder’s Keep universe and Tarotsphere. He also published a fantastic tale in The Black Room Manuscripts. His latest novel, Hunting Witches, is now available on Amazon’s blood-soaked altar. You can find his work on Amazon. When Mr. X is not writing creep mind-benders, he’s the host and/or contributor to several podcasts and blogs, including, but not limited to, Pop Shiftier and Kiss the Goat. You can read his review on Wolf Man here.

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Duncan Ralston– Reviewed for us The Invisible Man (1933). Mr. Ralston is not just a wonderful human being, but also the author of gruesome tales like Salvage: A Ghost Story, and the horror collection, Gristle & Bone. He’s been published in a various of anthologies, including The Black Room Manuscripts and The Animal, and the anthology,Easter Eggs and Bunny Boilers. His latest book will sure to knock your socks off, Woom. You can follow and chat with him atwww.facebook.com/duncanralstonfiction and www.duncanralston.com. You can read his review on Invisible Man here.

Dawn Cano – Reviewed for us legendary Frankenstein (1931). Miss Cano has always been a fan of horror, she loves everything about the genre and has just begun her journey into the world of horror writing. When not pounding away at the keyboard, she can be found reviewing books and movies for The Ginger Nuts of Horror and wasting time on Facebook. Dawn has also started what will no doubt be a fantastic career as a storyteller. You can find her books, including Sleep Deprived and Bucket List, *Warning: Some Scenes May Disturb for both of these wonderfully gruesome tales. And you can check out her review of Frankenstein here.

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Kit Power – Reviewed for us both The Bride of Frankenstein (1935) and Monster Mash Pinball Game. Mr. Power lives in the UK and writes fiction that lurks at the boundaries of the horror, fantasy, and thriller genres, trying to bum a smoke or hitch a ride from the unwary. In his secret alter ego of Kit Gonzo, he also performs as front man (and occasionally blogs) for death cult and popular beat combo The Disciples Of Gonzo. He is the published author of such works as, GodBomb!, Lifeline, and has contributed to numerous anthologies, including The Black Room Manuscripts, Widowmakers, and upcoming Easter Eggs and Bunny Boilers. You can read Kit’s review of Bride here.

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Justin Park – Reviewed for us both Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) and Werewolf in London (1935). Mr. Park draws from the crazy worlds of exploitation cinema and pulp literature for his literary inspiration. His family are both equally proud and disturbed by his literary output dragged from a mind they helped to cultivate. He resides on the outskirts of Bristol in the UK and hopes one day they’ll let him in. Mr. Park is the author of several twisted tales of morbid doom, including Upon Waking and Terror Byte and Punch. He was also featured with a horrifyingly wonderful short in the horror anthology The Black Room Manuscripts. Besides giving his readers terrifying nightmares, Mr. Park is also one of the founding members of the up and coming UK Publishing team, The Sinister Horror Company, active in promoting other writers and attending numerous conventions. You can read his review on A&C Meet Frank here.

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William D. Prystuak – Reviewed for us Dracula’s Daughter (1936). Professor Prystuak  is an award-winning screenwriter, film producer, and teacher in higher education, as well as a published poet, and essayist. His crime thriller, BLOODLETTING, has been adapted from his script of the same name, and he is currently working on a horror series. William also co-hosts THE LAST KNOCK podcast as Billy Crash with his good buddy, Jonny Numb, and currently, has thousands of listeners in 120 countries. You can find more about horror and William on his Crash Palace Productions site. As an Assistant Professor of English at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania, William teaches business writing and public relations. You can find more about William at any of these fantastic sites: Amazon: http://amzn.to/1Fu9PHS Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/1GhclaJ Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23365977-bloodletting BLOODLETTING Book Trailer One: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVNji_G-tSI BLOODLETTING Book Trailer Two: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glK9DiVIHT8 IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5464477/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1 Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/pub/william-d-prystauk/10/9a1/a55 Horror Podcast: THE LAST KNOCK on iTunes Twitter: @crashpalace. You can read Professor Prystuak’s review of Drac’s Daughter here.

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Michelle Garza – Reviewed for us She Wolf of London (1946). Michelle Garza, one-half of the writing team based out of Arizona. Her sister, Melissa Lason, and Miss. Garza have been dubbed The Sisters of Slaughter by the editors at Fireside Press. Since a young age, they have enjoyed crafting tales of the dark and macabre. Their work has been included in anthologies such as WIDOWMAKERS a benefit anthology of dark fiction, WISHFUL THINKING by Fireside press and soon to be published REJECTED FOR CONTENT 3 by JEA. To be included in FRESH MEAT 2015 is an incredible honor for the sisters. Their debut novel, Mayan Blue, released with Sinister Grin Press. You can keep track of Michelle and the Sisters of Slaughter’s budding writing career by following them on Twitter and Facebook. You can read her review of She Wolf here.

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Duncan P. Bradshaw – Reviewed for us Invisible Agent (1942). Mr. Bradshaw lives in MIGHTY Wiltshire, with his wife Debbie and their two cats, Rafa and Pepe. Their barbershop quartet days may be behind them now, but they can still belt out a mean version of ‘Deepy Dippy’ by Right Said Fred when the mood catches them right. Duncan’s debut novel, zom-com, “Class Three,” was released in November 2014. The first book in the follow-up trilogy, “Class Four: Those Who Survive,” shambled into life in July 2015. Both have received glowing reviews. In early 2016, he released his debut Bizarro novella, “Celebrity Culture”, which has been well received, despite its oddness. Not content with resting on his laurels, Prime Directive blasts off in May 2016, a sci-fi/horror novella which pleased fellow founder J.R. Park. Before the main attraction…Duncan finished writing “Hexagram” in late 2015, a novel set over five hundred years, which follows an ancient ritual and how people throughout the years twist the original purpose to their own end. You can find all of Mr. Bradshaw’s work on the bloodied altar of Amazon. And you can read his review of Invisible 007 here.

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Chantel Feszczyn (aka Chaney Dreadful) – Reviewed for us House of Frankenstein (1944). Miss Dreadful — is one creepy ghoul hailing from a small city in Saskatchewan, Canada. She is a regular podcast voice frequenting on the podcasts, with the first being Dead as Hell Horror Podcast, and as well the likes of The Resurrection of Zombie 7, Land of the Creeps andWhedonverse Podcast. For the last three years she has brought her focus towards written reviews, posting occasionally on her Tumblr blog and recently moving to her new website dreadfulreviews.com — where she posts weekly reviews discussing movies, comic books and horror-themed merchandise. You can read her review of Frank’s House here.

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Daryl Lewis Duncan – Reviewed for us Abbott and Costello Meet The Invisible Man (1951). Mr. Duncan is an up and coming writer and graphic artist and one smashing guitarist. You can find his work on numerous book covers recently released this year, including books by Dawn Cano, Duncan Ralston, and myself (Thomas S. Flowers). He also has upcoming projects with the likes of Kit Power and Rich Hawkins. Some of Mr. Duncan’s publishing work includes Violent Delights, in which he co-wrote with Dawn Cano. He is an avid reader and supporter of fellow indie writers. His artwork is stylized in a retro, space-age grunge, 70s grindhouse. Yup, it is that awesome! You can read his review on A&C Meet Invisible Man here.

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Jon Weidler – Reviewed for us Abbott and Costello Meet The Mummy (1955). Mr. Weidler works for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania by day but is a podcast superhero by night. He co-hosts THE LAST KNOCK horror podcast under the moniker “Jonny Numb,” and is a regular contributor to the Crash Palace Productions and Loud Green Bird websites. His archived movie reviews can be found at numbviews.livejournal.com, and his social media handle is @JonnyNumb (Twitter & Letterboxd). You can read his review of A&C Meet Mummy here.

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Tim Busbey – Reviewed for us The Mummy’s Ghost (1942). Mr. Busbey is an award-winning editor and journalist who currently is the Assistant Editor at Richland Source (www.RichlandSource.com) and Ashland Source (www.AshlandSource.com). Tim also does freelance book editing and is a partner with Erin Al-Mehairi in Hook of A Book Media and Publicity. When he’s not editing other people’s stories or reporting on all the happenings in Ashland, Ohio, Tim writes sci-fi, thrillers and horror. You can read his review of Mummy’s Ghost here.

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Pembroke Sinclair – Reviewed for us The Mummy’s Curse (1944). Miss. Sinclair is a literary jack of all trades, playing her hand at multiple genres. She has written an eclectic mix of fiction ranging from horror to sci-fi and even some westerns. Born in Rock Springs, Wyoming–the home of 56 nationalities–it is no wonder Pembroke ended up so creatively diverse. Her fascination with the notions of good and evil, demons and angels, and how the lines blur have inspired her writing. Pembroke lives in Laramie, Wyoming, with her husband, two spirited boys, a black lab named Ryder, and a rescue kitty named Alia, who happens to be the sweetest, most adorable kitty in the world! She cannot say no to dessert, orange soda, or cinnamon. She loves rats and tatts and rock and roll and wants to be an alien queen when she grows up. You can learn more about Pembroke Sinclair by visiting her at pembrokesinclair.blogspot.com. You can follow the very talented Pembroke on Facebook  Amazon Twitter Or at her blog. You can read her review on Mummy’s Curse here.

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David Sgalambro – Reviewed for us The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942). MR. SGALAMBRO is a horror writer at J. Ellington Ashton Press and a contributing Writer at Resident Rock Star Magazine. He was born in New York, but spent the majority of his life sweltering down in Florida. Growing up, he was obsessed with every 1960’s Monster magazine on the newsstand (He still has hundreds of them that he can’t bear to part with ….ever) and any Horror movie his eyes could watch (He blames some of his lunacy upon seeing the original Night of the Living Dead at the age of nine). His continuous love for the genre has kept him in movie theaters throughout his life indulging in all of the decade’s bloodiest moments, but not up until recently has he tapped into his own dark inner voice as a writer, and brought forth his compelling debut novel published by J. Ellington Ashton Press titled NED. It’s his first attempt at the literary game and he credits his love of Horror for its terrifying content. David is currently working on his second novel which once again explores the darkest depths of his maniacal mind for inspiration and creativity. David’s other current literary escape is as a contributing writer for a music publication called Resident Rock Star magazine out of Colorado. With them he gets the freedom to write about what’s happening in the current music scene pertaining to his own personal taste, Heavy Metal. You can read his review on Ghost of Frank here.

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Patrick Loveland – Reviewed for us The Invisible Man Returns (1940). MR. LOVELAND writes screenplays, novels, and shorter prose fiction. He also draws somewhat disturbing imagery on Post-its. By day, he schedules classes, helps instructors get set up for class sessions, possibly draws said weird Post-its, and moves many a furniture at a state college in Southern California where he lives with his wife and young daughter. His stories have appeared in anthologies published by April Moon Books, Bold Venture Press, and the award-winning Crime Factory zine. Mr. Loveland’s first novel, A TEAR IN THE VEIL, will be published in late 2016 by April Moon Books.  You can connect with Patrick on Twitter:https://twitter.com/pmloveland   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pmloveland/   Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00S78LF9M Or Blog [under construction]:https://patrickloveland.wordpress.com/ You can read his review on Invisible Man’s Return here.

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Chad Clark – Reviewed for us House of Dracula (1945). Mr. Clark is a midwestern author of horror and science fiction. His artistic roots can be traced back to the golden era of horror literature, Stephen King, and Robert McCammon being large influences. His love for horror began as well in the classic horror franchises of the eighties. He resides in Iowa with his wife and two sons. Clark’s debut novel, Borrowed Time, was published in 2014. His second novel, A Shade for Every Season was released in 2015, and in 2016 Clark published Behind Our Walls, a dark look at the human condition set in a post-apocalyptic world. His latest book, Down the Beaten Path, released in September 2016. You can keep up with all of Mr. Clark’s works by following him on Amazon here. And you can read his review of House of Drac here.

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Matt Shaw – Reviewed for us The Invisible Woman (1940). Mr. Shaw is the published author of over 100 titles – all readily available on AMAZON. He is one of the United Kingdom’s leading – and most prolific – horror authors, regularly breaking the top ten in the chart for Amazon’s Most Popular Horror Authors. With work sometimes compared to Stephen King, Richard Laymon, and Edward Lee, Shaw is best known for his extreme horror novels (The infamous Black Cover Range), Shaw has also dabbled in other genres with much success; including romance, thrillers, erotica, and dramas. Despite primarily being a horror author, Shaw is a huge fan of Roald Dahl – even having a tattoo of the man on his arm; something he looks to whenever he needs a kick up the bum or inspiration to continue working! As well as pushing to release a book a month, Shaw’s work is currently being translated for the Korean market and he is currently working hard to produce his own feature length film. And speaking of films… Several film options have been sold with features in the very early stages of development. Watch this space. Matt Shaw lives in Southampton (United Kingdom) with his wife Marie, his bastard cat Nellie and three rats – Roland, Splinter, and Spike. He used to live with Joey the Chinchilla and Larry the Bearded Dragon but they died. At least he hoped they did because he buried them. You can follow Mr. Shaw and delve into his work by following his site at www.mattshawpublications.co.uk AND on Facebook at  www.facebook.com/mattshawpublications.co.uk. You can read his review of the infamous Invisible Woman here.

And there you have them. Please join me in giving them a huge round of applause and thanks for agreeing to participate in this new endeavor here on Machine Mean. And be sure to check out all their awesome work by following the links provided under each bio. Now, what? Well, keep your socks on, October is just around the bend and we’ve got an awesome event in store for you. Machine Mean’s Freight Fest 2016, featuring 21 guest authors reviewing 21 dark fiction movies of their own choosing running from October day 1 thru day 31. That’s right, I let 21 weirdos pick their own movies to review and they’ve selected some rather awesome flicks, ranging from the 1960s to released just last month. You can follow news and updates regarding Freight Fest by following our Facebook page here. And as always, if you enjoyed what you’ve read here on Machine Mean, please subscribe to our author mailing list by clicking on the FREE BOOK image below to not only receive updates on sales and new releases, but also a free anthology of dark fiction.

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Universal Monsters in Review: The Invisible Woman (1940)

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Have you ever had one of those moments when you question precisely what it is you’re watching? I had one of those during the screening for The Invisible Woman. Now, to be fair, the “Invisible” films have had a rather rough go at it as far as quality, in fact, the only movies from the “Invisible” production line I like are the original, The Invisible Man, and Invisible Agent, and you can thank Peter Lorre for that one. And I guess that gives you a bit of a spoiler on my thoughts for this rendition. While watching, I was really wanting to like the movie, I really did try. The major problem with The Invisible Woman, for me at least, was that it was trying to do one thing while simultaneously circumventing those attempts. The Invisible Woman started out as a comedy, Shemp Howard from The Three Stooges was in the film for Christ’s sake, and the movie was, at first, calling attention, through comedy, certain discriminations/sexism against women. The volunteer for the “invisible” project was after all a working gal whose boss was a certifiable pig. And I feel, at the beginning, the film achieved its goal of making light of a rather dark subject. But as the film progresses, the plot unspools into a heap of intangible wool. It made no sense…the woman was strong and could save the day, but couldn’t control herself and needed a man to save her? The message the movie is presenting is confusing. Does making a movie that semi resembles some sort of pro- women’s right as a comedy mean the subject is laughable? Then again, we need to remember the era in which the film was made and not interpret past events in terms of modern values and concepts. Anyhow, that’s the beans on how I feel regarding the movie, let’s see what our honored guest has to say about The Invisible Woman.

The Invisible Woman

By: Matt Shaw

‘Hiya Matt.’

‘Hi.’

‘I was just wondering if you fancied doing a film review for me?’

‘Hey? What do you mean – I mean, I know what you mean but… What do you need?’

‘I’m doing a series of blogs about Universal Monsters and just wondered if you wanted to review one of the films…’

‘Erm. Can do. Not really my strength but – sure. Which one?’

‘You can choose from these.’ <List given>

‘Oh, I’ll have The Invisible Woman.’

‘You’re on!’

And then I forget about the conversation only to be reminded months later. Panicked, with the review due shortly, I go off to download the film Bride of Frankenstein. Not sure how my brain went from one to the other but – meh – a lucky conversation on Facebook and I realized my mistake and soon found myself watching the correct film on YouTube. And – you know what – I wish I hadn’t bothered. Still… I did bother so I might as well review the turd. I mean “film”. Try and guess what I thought about it before you get to my verdict at the end of this review and – remember – I’m a horror author, not a film critic.

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The Invisible Woman was released in the 1940s. It has that “old film” charm with the black and white footage and grainy specks here and there which normally trick you into thinking you’re watching an intelligent movie classic – you know, the type of pretentious shite you were forced to endure at school as part of life lessons. Unfortunately there is nothing intelligent about this film, nor – in fact – are there any lessons to be learned. It is also lacking any charm. In fact, how the studio survived with the release of this festering cesspit is beyond me, but – there you go.

Starring Virginia Bruce (The Wicked Witch no less) as the Invisible Woman (Kitty Carroll) and John Barrymore (as the eccentric Professor Gibbs), it also stars John Howard as Richard Russell, the millionaire playboy character on the verge of bankruptcy after years of living life to the full and paying towards Gibbs’ inventions. But none of these characters, or performances, will stand out compared to one of the other characters and – no – I’m not referring to Shemp Howard (one of the Three Stooges). I’m referring to Charlie Ruggles who played George, the butler to Richard Russell – a character who stands out for the wrong reasons. In fact – Charlie Ruggles deserved to never work again and – quite frankly – I am too irritated to check to see if he even did. The character was a bumbling idiot, given most of the “slapstick” scenes and delivering them a bull in a china shop. No… Not a bull. What’s bigger than a bull? Ah. An elephant. His oafish “acting” and over the top mannerisms doing nothing more than to fuel my hatred for the film and all involved.

‘George! Call for an airport!’

‘AIIIIIIRPORT!’

‘No, George… Call for an airport on the telephone.’

Oh, how I rolled around the living room laughing my quite frankly massive bollocks off.

Or…

George and Richard are in heated debate. Richard goes up the stairs and George goes up the ladder next to the stairs, only to do a somersault when he reaches the top, landing in a heap on the floor.

Someone call 999! I’m dying from laughter.

Now I know what a farce when I see one. I studied it at school with the likes of Dario Fo. I enjoy a good farce when they are done correctly but – here – there are so few scenes of comedy that when it does happen (poorly) it does nothing to serve the film and just feels painfully out of place. Anyway, fuck off, I’m watching Universal Monsters. I want horror. I’ve been duped. I don’t want some piss poor attempt at comedy. If I wanted something funny – I’d watch something by Seth Rogen…

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Oh, the irony.

The plot of the film itself is fairly bog standard. An inventor who invents a machine that turns people invisible. The investor gets excited because he thinks it will solve his money problems. After putting an advert in the paper – a woman (Kitty) gets in touch to be the test subject. But – wait for it – three crooks also hear of the machine and want to steal it for their boss! So – Kitty goes invisible and seeks revenge on her boss (she works as a model) who learns the error of his ways after getting literally spanked by Kitty. She then goes with Gibbs to Russell’s lodge to prove the machine works (and hear we discover how sexist films were back then) and they end up falling for each other and – boom – the crooks show up and kidnap the professor and the girl having already stolen the machine from back at the lab. Everything is wrapped up nicely with the Invisible Woman teaching them lessons in the space of about four minutes and the credits roll. That’s all there is to it and I’m sorry for the spoilers but – seriously – you’ll thank me. This film is a crock of shit with it’s dire “comedy”, flat acting, so-so music and… Fuck me… I’ve got something good to say… Hold your pants, this is big…

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The effects, given this, was made in the 40s are actually pretty good. With regards to the invisible effects anyway. Don’t mention the lightening towards the end of the movie. So – yeah – there you go – a positive in this shit pie. Good effects. But, if you’ve read my books, you’ll know I don’t like happy endings so… Remember when I said was sexist? Sexist and degrading to women. Check out these lines, babycakes:

‘It’s me, Mrs. Jackson.’

‘You can’t possibly be Mrs. Jackson! She’s in the kitchen where she belongs!’

Or…

‘Any girl insisting on becoming invisible can’t be easy on the eyes!’

‘Hiding your stout figure…’

It’s okay, though. The rumor is Hollywood is remaking the film and casting an all-female cast with the exception of the invisible man.

‘Of course, you chose to go invisible… With a penis that small, why wouldn’t you?’

‘He didn’t need the machine for us to not be able to see that!’

<Women laugh>

Anyway, I’m not sorry for this negative review. The film portrayed women to be either thick or deranged. This isn’t a hero piece. The male characters – with the exception of the Playboy – don’t fare any better on the stupidity scale and, quite frankly, the screenwriters should have been blacklisted just to fuck them off from the scene before they could do any more damage to the brains of those foolish enough to try their work out.

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This is not a good film and it’s no surprise I struggled to find a torrent with which to view it…

Thanks for reading now, if you’ll forgive me, I’m off to pour bleach in my eyes and drill a hole in my head – into which I shall be pouring sulphuric acid.

Peace out, homies.

Matt, The.

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Matt Shaw is the published author of over 100 titles – all readily available on AMAZON. He is one of the United Kingdom’s leading – and most prolific – horror authors, regularly breaking the top ten in the chart for Amazon’s Most Popular Horror Authors. With work sometimes compared to Stephen King, Richard Laymon, and Edward Lee, Shaw is best known for his extreme horror novels (The infamous Black Cover Range), Shaw has also dabbled in other genres with much success; including romance, thrillers, erotica and dramas. Despite primarily being a horror author, Shaw is a huge fan of Roald Dahl – even having a tattoo of the man on his arm; something he looks to whenever he needs a kick up the bum or inspiration to continue working! As well as pushing to release a book a month, Shaw’s work is currently being translated for the Korean market and he is currently working hard to produce his own feature length film. And speaking of films… Several film options have been sold with features in the very early stages of development. Watch this space. Matt Shaw lives in Southampton (United Kingdom) with his wife Marie, his bastard cat Nellie and three rats – Roland, Splinter and Spike. He used to live with Joey the Chinchilla and Larry the Bearded Dragon but they died. At least he hoped they did because he buried them. You can follow Matt and delve into his work by following his site at www.mattshawpublications.co.uk AND on the altar of Facebook at  www.facebook.com/mattshawpublications.co.uk

 

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Universal Monsters in Review: The Invisible Man’s Revenge (1944)

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Let me start by saying  that I am a fan of the Invisible Man. The original book by H.G. Wells is a work of utter brilliance, and the original 1933 film, The Invisible Man, starring Claude Rains, is a wonderful screen adaptation and true to the “mad scientist” theme. Its a difficult story to pull off in a movie. The effects have to be decent and the actors have to be good enough for everything not to come off feeling comical. The original with Claude Rains as the invisible man gave us the building blocks of what to expect in later invisible man movies, a scientist driven mad by his own formula and desire for recognition in his field of study. The Invisible Woman has yet to make it on Universal Monsters in Review, so we’ll leave that one out for now, but the rest, The Invisible Man Returns, the Invisible Agent, and Abbot and Costello Meet the Invisible Man, while trying to do things different, end up coming off strangely out of sync. Of these, at least The Invisible Agent was cinematic and entertaining, despite its obvious propagandic agenda. The Invisible Man Returns was kinda of a bore with too many complicated themes going on, and A&C Meet The Invisible Man was entirely way too long. The Invisible Man’s Revenge seemed…well, different then the rest. The Invisible Man is no longer the protagonist, which is fine because he is the monster, right? But with the story of some maniac wanting to get back what’s owed to him (money), blackmailing and murder and what not to achieve his goals, well…I didn’t really see the need for the invisible man aspect of the film. This easily could have been a straightforward noir mystery without the need of the “mad science” of invisibility, in fact, I’d be as bold to say the entire invisible man part was tacked on and not the central theme, as it should have been. We don’t even get “the invisible man” until the second act. And the encounter with the “mad scientist” was utterly coincidental. The one saving grace for me (though the movie was entertaining regardless of non-monsterism) was John Carradine as Doctor Peter Drury and Leon Errol who played bumbling drunk Herbert Higgins. Leon stole the show, in my opinion, and was truly a pleasure watching preform. Okay…as it seems, I’ve again gone on waaay too much. Lets see what our estimated guest author had to say about The Invisible Man’s Revenge.

 

The Invisible Man’s Revenge

By: Jeffery X. Martin

“The Invisible Man’s Revenge” is the fifth film in the series, and how did that happen? As far as monsters go, the Invisible Man isn’t that impressive. You can’t see him. He’s not even malformed or hideous to look at when he’s visible. Imagine people paying money to go see nothing and being frightened by it.
Historically, this counts as a horror film. It’s not. It’s a pot-boiler, a melodrama with sparse horror elements. A man returns to London only to learn he’s been bilked out of a fortune in diamonds by people he considered friends. He vows revenge, which comes when he meets a mad scientist. Actually, he’s quite friendly, as far as mad scientists go. He even has his hair brushed.
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The scientist has created an invisibility formula. It alters the skin pigmentation, changing the way light refracts. Think of the Predator, only thin and with a funny mustache.
Once the good doctor injects our lead with the serum, he goes after his former friends with a see-through vengeance.
The special effects are neat, in the same way that card tricks are neat. You’re not quite sure how they did them, but you’ve got a pretty good idea. There are lots of floating objects and hard-working actors reacting to something attached to fishing line. The scenes where the Invisible Man unwraps the bandages from his head to reveal nothing are still impressive, even if he’s less the Invisible Man and more the Walking Blank Chromakey Weather Map. One expects to see a high-pressure front forming where his forehead should be.
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Jon Hall as the unseeable male is passable. It seems like the filmmakers believed they had the next big star on their hands, and he received top billing. And while stalwart B-movie performers infest this movie like bedbugs in a Mississippi motel room, the real standout is John Carradine as the crazed yet urbane Dr. Drury. He gives this programmer an air of elegance it would have otherwise lacked.
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The main problem with “The Invisible Man’s Revenge” is, when you think about it, there was no need for him to be invisible for him to carry out his evil plan. He could have achieved his ends simply through threats of violence. A man will sign almost any self-incriminating piece of paper when he’s staring down the barrel of a .38. It feels like they took a script that was floating around the studio and adapted it to the Invisible Man series. This practice still continues in Hollywood, which you know if you’ve ever watched a “Die Hard” sequel.
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Set in London, the main characters all sport American accents. The ending feels tacked on, with a short speech at the end to remind the audience of just how evil it is to be evil. I imagine if this movie had been made pre-Code, it would have been far more enjoyable.
As it stands, this is a decent little feature, light as a cloud. You’ll forget you saw it soon after, but again, you’re five movies into the franchise. Anything is bound to get a bit long in the tooth after that long. “The Invisible Man’s Revenge” is for completists only, and even those who insist on seeing them all are better off watching “Abbott and Costello Meet The Invisible Man” first.
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Please call me X. Everyone does. When I was a kid, fourth grade, to be exact, I wrote a horror story for a class assignment. It was so good, they called my mother in to the office for a conference on a day when school was closed for students. The fourth grade teachers and the school principal wanted to have me evaluated by a psychologist. The school staff couldn’t figure out why I would want to write a story that was violent or had frightening images. Why wasn’t it football, puppies and rainbows?I wasn’t that kind of kid. My mother knew that. And she promptly told those teachers, the principal (and that horrible school secretary, the one who looked like a Raggedy Ann doll, possessed by Pazuzu) and anyone else within earshot to go f**k themselves. I still write scary stories. It’s my job. It’s what I do. It’s what I’ve always done.
You can keep in touch with X on his prolific podcast Kiss the Goat and Screen Kings. You can find his work, including his newly minted novel Hunting Witches, on the altar of Amazon by following the link provided here.

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