Starring: Taika Waititi, Jemaine Clement, Jonny Brugh, Ben Fransham, Cori Gonzalez-Macuer, and Stu Rutherford
Written and Directed by: Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement
What We Do In The Shadows is a mocumentary about four vampires who live in a “flatting situation” in New Zealand, and it’s quite possibly the best vampire film in existence. It’s a comedy that mostly centres around friendship and the various bizarre issues experienced through life as a vampire. Each of the main characters is ingeniously based on familiar ‘vampire types’ in popular culture, and are styled and dressed according to the time period in which they were transformed. We have Petyr, an 8000 year-old ‘Nosferatu’ type, resembling Count Orlok. Viago is an 18th century dandy, similar to Louis and Lestat from Interview with the Vampire. Deacon was a Nazi vampire. Vladislav is based on Dracula (the Francis Ford Coppola version). Then we have Nick, who is turned into a vampire during ‘filming’, and is the self-professed ‘Twilight type’. The story centres on the group in their everyday life and leads up to ‘The Unholy Masquerade’, an exclusive supernatural ball. Along the way, we meet side characters such as other vampires, werewolves (“not swear wolves!”), familiars, victims, and Stu, Nick’s human friend. Continue Reading
Shock Waves (1977)
[85 minutes. PG. Director: Ken Wiederhorn]
(It’s 40 years old, but I’ll give a SPOILER WARNING anyway)
There are literal and figurative streams of consciousness at work in Shock Waves, Ken Wiederhorn’s most well-remembered film.
It’s not a great film – at least not as great as my childhood mind remembers – but makeup designer Alan Ormsby’s suggestion on the Blu-ray commentary track, that the film is possessed of a “dreamlike quality” is not inaccurate. And that’s arguably where it acquires its power.
It’s a film that takes place primarily on water, with the midsection set in an abandoned hotel on a desert island.
There are scenes where characters paddle toward escape – through narrow, knotted thickets; through shallow ocean waters on the way out to sea – and don’t say much. They don’t need to, really – they know their situation is inexplicable and absurd, so what’s the sense in fevered rationalizations? By the end, the lone survivor of the ordeal, Rose (Brooke Adams) has been rendered catatonic by what she’s seen, reduced to writing gibberish in a journal. Continue Reading
Awe, the 90s. Nothing quite hints that you are venturing into the realm of 1990s cinema like introspection, mad science (or fear of science), and Val Kilmer. 90s movies are also grouped into that category of not so cult classics with few actually becoming cult classics, sometimes rightfully so, others…not. Actually, truth be told, there are quite a few 90s flicks most consider to be bombs I, for some off reason, rather enjoy. The Ghost and the Darkness is a great example of a wonderful film that has fallen into obscurity. Lions, Douglas, and The Val Kilmer!!! What more do you need? Some 90s horror flicks are more serious than others, such as The Relic. And others are more comedic, like Tremors. And there are some 90s films too great, too fantastically wrapped in speculation that it ascends all others. I am of course referring to the 1996 debacle that is The Island of Dr. Moreau.
Before we continue, shall we recall this delectable movie?
After being rescued and brought to an island, a man discovers that its inhabitants are experimental animals being turned into strange-looking humans, all of it the work of a visionary doctor.
Have I mentioned how much I love those IMDb synopsis?
Well, they are not entirely wrong. It just feels…horribly vague compared to the drama that surrounds and infuses The Island of Dr. Moreau. What drama you ask? We’ll get to that in a moment. First, lets break this sucker down, shall we? So yes, there is a rescue out at sea when one Edward Douglas (played by the always charming Brit David Thewlis) is on a life-raft set a drift. And our survivor is not alone, there are others with him, and as the movie narrates for us, the survivors are fighting each other over the quickly diminishing supplies. Thus, this very short and easily missed scene establishes for us perhaps what the question is that we’ll be wrestling over, human nature and violence in the ugly face of survival, or so one would think…
Anyhow. Our survivor is soon rescued and brought to a private island where he can radio for another boat brave enough to venture to this very isolated and secretive island. And just who was his dashing rescuer? Who is the hero who pulled him out of the sea? Val mother f-king Kilmer, playing the role of one Dr. Montgomery, who is questionably a doctor; more a veterinarian. We need to perhaps discuss a little more on Mr. Kilmer. I know there are not too many fans left around seeing how he’s been reduced to playing in horribly produced b-movies nowadays, but this was a shy over twenty years ago (feeling old?). He was in his prime. Some may question if he’d ever had a prime, but I say boo boo to those naysayers. Kilmer was a fantastic actor, from high flying jerk in Top Gun to sociopathic killer turned armed robber in Heat. He’s done drama and comedy and everything in between. Not to mention his stint of the cape crusader in Batman: Forever. Perhaps not the most beloved Batman film, but certainly not the worst. His role as Montgomery felt strangely in tune to the insanity hanging over not only the island but the production as well. Playing both mystic hippy and savior to psychotic and oddly stoic. For me, his Montgomery is one of the better parts of the movie.
The movie begins to kinda take off at a sprint around the time when our survivor is locked in his room by Montgomery. And one would think there ought to be some feeling of mystery or dread here, give me some lightening and rain, but sadly no. At best, Douglas acts as some spoiled brat, ungrateful for his rescue, and “breaks out” as a teenager escaping being grounded to his room. In fact, let us surmise something important here and now. When I first screened this movie back in the 90s, I was all about seeing Douglas, the survivor and moral judge of the film, as the hero. I was young and understood the world very little. In my mind, he was the good guy because he was simply the protagonist. The soon to be discovered “beasts” were the villains only because they were…well…beasts. Horrible, I know, but hey…I was naive. Watching the movie today, I found myself shouting victor for…everyone else. Even the quack scientist/wanna be god, with a small g, Dr. Moreau (played by an aging and supposedly uncaring let’s collect our paycheck Marlon Brando).
Not to get ahead of myself. The film does get a little catwampus from here. Douglas goes for a stroll after escaping his room and happens upon some strange sounds. He investigates cause…I guess that’s what you do when you hear strange noises. He soon discovers the source of those macabre screams. It seems one of the locals on the island is giving birth. But this is no normal birth and those physicians, aside from Montgomery, are no normal people. To Douglas they seem like upright horrors with fur and large teeth. Even the soon delivered baby has some rather haunting eyes and a screech that is no utterance of any human baby. To be perfectly honest, this scene is just about perfect and does ring of terror. They baby…whatever it was, mere-goat, looked grotesque and chilling, as if screaming, “Why have you made me?”
Douglas, terrified, runs off into the woods. He runs into Aissa (played by bug eyed beauty Fairuza Balk) who promises him, what sounds like, a way off the island as long as he promises to take her with him. But that’s not what she does and even if she could, the only ship there is invested with rat-people, very small very CGI rat-people. Anyways, this is where things get kinda of confusing. Aissa leads Douglas to Sayer of the Law, some kind of blind man-goat preacher (played by the always badass Ron Perlman), but why? You’d think maybe the Sayer was some sort of resistance leader against their “creator.” But he isn’t. Sayer preaches the Master’s gospel of non-malevolence. Why did Aissa bring him there if she wanted to escape? Did she even want to escape? I’m so confused…
And that’s about the summation of The Island of Dr. Moreau. Confusion laid on top of more confusion. Especially when Douglas is “captured” and has a long talk with Dr. Moreau about what the good doctor has done and without much build up that Douglas was even religious starts in on this whole blasphemy stick. Crimes against God, with a big G, and so on. I understand the argument, this was the 90s after all and cloning was in the news a lot, something about a cute little goat being cloned and the religious right was on the warpath. But if you’re going to make that argument, you have to lay in some ground work first. Let the audience know Douglas is zealous.
Which they didn’t.
And folks like me got really confused over Douglas’s moral standing.
The confusion perhaps could have something to do with the direction of the movie verses producer expectations. In fact, there’s an entire documentary called Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr. Moreau. Yup. A over an hour long documentary was made on the strange and confusing tale of turning H.G. Wells literary masterpiece of the same title into a movie. Scandal be damned, it’s actually really good. And informative. Needless to say, changing directors and actors mid-stream can create…confusion. I’m actually surprised an actor as iconic as Brando stuck around, unless of course he needed the paycheck.
If given the chance and ignoring some of the confusion its not that bad of a movie. My perspective has certainly changed since my original screening back in 1996. As well it should. Given the twenty some years, my perspective had damn better change some. On Dr. Moreau’s strange island of human-beasts, I first saw them as villains, as monsters, because they looked like monsters. Now I know better. Now I know its not what’s on the outside that make’s us beasts, its what’s on the inside. In our struggle to survive on life boats or how we present ourselves to the world it is our actions that define us. Good or bad. If a movie can teach us that, well…then that’s a pretty damn good movie in my opinion. And besides, its got the Kilmer in it, how could you NOT like it?
My rating: 3.5 out of 5.
With a face only a mother could love, Thomas S. Flowers hides away to create character-driven stories of dark fiction. Residing in the swamps of Houston, Texas, with his wife and daughter, his debut novel, Reinheit, was soon published with Shadow Work Publishing, along with The Incredible Zilch Von Whitstein, Apocalypse Meow, Lanmò, The Hobbsburg Horror, and FEAST. His military/paranormal thriller series, The Subdue Series, including Dwelling, Emerging, Conceiving, and Converging, are published with Limitless Publishing, LLC. In 2008, he was honorably discharged from the U.S. Army where he served for seven years, with three tours serving in Operation Iraqi Freedom. In 2014, Thomas graduated from University of Houston Clear Lake with a Bachelors in History. He blogs at machinemean[dot]org, where he reviews movies and books on a wide range of strange yet oddly related topics. You can hide from Thomas by joining his author newsletter at http://goo.gl/2CozdE.
Reviewing new movies here on Machine Mean is a rare opportunity. Typically, we keep to the oldies but goodies, and even oldies but not always goodies. Every now and then though a new box office movie will lurch across our spectrum. Since the previews for SPLIT started airing, I knew I had to see the movie. M. Night Shyamalan is a topic of many interesting conversations. Lots of love and hate floated his way, so much so that anything new he puts out is usually met with suspicion. Here’s a short history. In 1999, he wowed audiences with The Sense Sense, begging the question of many moviegoers, “Who the fuck is M. Night Shyamalan?” And for better or worse, we would soon find out. In 2000, he broke our expectations with Unbreakable (see what I did there?), and for many Unbreakable became an easy favorite. He gave us Signs in 2002, not just with the movie but also the precarious slip he would find himself falling into as a screenwriter and director. I find it very humorous that Shyamalan played the role of Ray Reddy, the drunk who killed Rev. Graham’s wife in an accident, his “falling asleep behind the wheel” is a somewhat prophetic scene given what he would eventually do to his own “self” created sub-genre, the “twist ending,” or the “Shyamalan Effect,” as it were. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Signs, but you have to admit the ending was kinda bullshit. In 2004, The Village wasn’t a bad place to visit, but you can’t really go back once you know the truth. 2006 is when it all came apart. Maybe it was ego. Maybe it was studio pressure of creating box office hit after box office hit…whatever it was Lady in the Water was probably one of the more arrogant films I’ve ever seen. In 2008, Shyamalan collapsed completely with one of the worst movies I’ve ever forced myself to watch with The Happening. It was a horrible story. And it had horrible acting. The premise was built on solid ground, but it spiraled and it spiraled hard. And as for The Last Airbender and After Earth…I’ve seen neither films nor do I care to.
There are two movies, however, not included above, both of which that I believe have brought about the return of M. Night Shyamalan. In 2010, Devil released to theaters. Not a lot was known about this movie. Shyamalan did not direct nor did he write the screenplay. According to IMDb, Shyamalan is only credited as a “story” writer. Overall, audiences were about so-so on it, as with horror movie nerds. But even with only about a 50% approval rating, still significantly better than Mr. Shyamalan’s previous movies. To me, Devil was his way, or maybe the studio’s way of “testing the waters,” so to speak. Shyamalan may not be credited for directing or writing the screenplay, but you can tell he had a part. There are plenty of Shyamalanisms present to know its one of his. And Devil’s partial success led to the start of his return. In 2015, he wrote and directed The Visit. Talk about a big risk. Late to the game of steady-cam pictures, The Visit was a surprise success among horror fans. Plenty of dread and suspense and it was topped off with his trademark Shyamalan Effect. Very risky, if you ask me, but one that paid off. After we were done Visiting grandma and grandpa’s, many of us (those who probably spend way to much time thinking about horror movies) were wondering when the next Shyamalan would be. Would there even be another?
Don’t worry, I’ll give fair warning whenever I’m about to spoil anything.
That being said, we need to talk about Split.
For starters, bravo to the team who had put together that trailer. Not too much was revealed; just enough to wet our whistle. Perfect balance of information and intrigue. Kevin (James McAvoy) has evidenced 23 personalities to his trusted psychiatrist, Dr. Fletcher (Betty Buckley). There remains a 24th personality who has yet to materialize. Compelled to abduct three teenage girls, Kevin reaches a war for survival among all of those contained within him…as well as everyone around him. With a synopsis like that, who could resist? Split dominated the box office over the weekend, pulling in some 40mil nationwide, but I wonder if a majority of those sales were from Saturday and not from Friday. As in, were movie goers cautious and when reports of how good it was surfaced on social media, people flocked to theaters the next day? Seems plausible. I for one went on a Saturday and every movie showing according to the board had been sold out.
Can you believe that? An M. Night Shyamalan movie selling out. When was the last time that happened? Had it even happened before? We’re probably talking Sixth Sense or Unbreakable era Shyamalan…which is interesting because that is the vibe of Split. I didn’t get new Shyamalan vibes, I got Unbreakable…borderline Sixth Sense vibes. Split wasn’t scary, per say, so don’t go into it hoping to jump out of your seats. And I actually appreciated the film more because of that. When the biggest horror movie to come out on a Friday the 13th is called Bye Bye Man, it makes me really fucking sick of the whole jump scare bullshit fad among younger audiences. Cheap thrills trumping solid storytelling and the artistic buildup of dread. And dread is exactly what the vibe was throughout Split. There were some def moments of lag, but that’s okay, or it’s okay if you’re like me and you enjoy getting to know the characters, glimpsing backgrounds and history that WILL play a larger role in the movie down the road. Not only is the storytelling really solid on this one, but the acting, oh my, the acting was freakishly great. And I mean great as in compared to Shyamalan’s previous work. Split isn’t groundbreaking, though it is certainly good. The loudest applause has to go to McAvoy. Even in the previews, I had a good feeling he was going to knock this role out of the park. He did NOT disappoint. Playing a character with multipersonalities can end up in two ways. Coming off as a big nasty stinking poop OR coming off as a big awesome creepy as hell pleasure to watch. If you haven’t yet indulged, I suggest you do, especially if you’ve seen and enjoyed his Sixth Sense, Unbreakable era films.
Now on to the SPOILERS.
I was satisfied with the flashback sense with Casey Cook, played by up and coming actress Anya Taylor-Joy. I found myself wondering throughout what her role was. She was set apart from the others. Her responses were different. From the get go we get a sneak peek at what her history may intel when she whispers hastily to one of her “friends” to pee herself as she’s being dragged off by one of Kevin’s more OCD personalities. That’s not really something someone would normally rush to blurt out unless said person had experienced some sort of similar situation before. I also thought for a little while if she was part of the kidnapping. But seeing her reactions, trying to escape, left me searching for other clues. And this searching aspect is a big plus for me, it invites participation. We’re not just witnesses, we’re players. However…there was no twist ending. There was only revelation.
The lack of a Shyamalan twist did not hinder my enjoyment of the film. It was still fun trying to guess what was going on. When more of Cook’s history was revealed, we learned why she was reacting differently from the other girls with her. We see this sweet little child who loves her father. But then we see her lifelong abuse from her uncle turned guardian, both tragic and heartbreaking. Yet in the end, her scars is what saves her from The Horde, the 24th personalities persona, who views the suffered as pure and those who have not suffered as impure. The Hordes logic is somewhat intriguing. Through suffering, we are made complete, evolved from a non-suffered, non-touched, non-spoiled perspective. The evolution of one’s character through suffering is a relatable philosophy, one that has a sort of religious connotation. This evolution is made manifest, according to The Horde, physically. For Cook, it was her scars, and not just her ability to survive, that thwarted The Horde’s advance. Throughout the movie, we’re also given this idea of near superhuman abilities multi-personality disorder patients can implement. Blind being able to see. A weak person becoming incredibly strong. Even the most minute, a diabetic personality in an otherwise non-diabetic body. For Kevin, while many of his personalities exhibit extraordinary “powers,” it is his final personality, The Horde, in which exhibits the peak of human evolution.
Who mouthed WTF when The Horde started climbing the walls? I certainly did. It’s another one of those intriguing thought exercises, that if The Horde is the peak of human evolution, why is he so animalistic? He behaves and feeds like an animal. And Shyamalan spared no time at the end showing us how much of an animal this personality is. Tying it off with the revelation that they were being kept in the maintenance tunnels below a zoo, provokes further thought and begs the question of mankind, are we more than beasts?
And I’d be amiss not to mention the cherry on top of this sundae. The last scene, at a dinner and the news, re-telling this crime, gives the name of the “still at large” murderer, calling him The Horde. People are talking and connecting the strange name to another infamous murderer. They can’t remember his name, only that he was in a wheelchair or something. And the camera pans to Bruce Willis who knows who these people are talking about, the name Mr. Glass. I couldn’t believe the connection. A very nice surprise to end the movie with. One I hope pans out to a sequel.
Split, for me, marked the return of M. Night Shyamalan. Everything made sense, even the extraordinary. There was nothing arrogant about the movie, in fact, it was actually kind of tragic in its own right, somewhat similar in a way to Sixth Sense. Split could have easily been his third film. It has that feeling of fitting in as an evolution to Unbreakable. This is of corse just my two cents. for those who’ve seen Split, what are your thoughts? Has Shyamalan returned? Or was Split another dud?
My rating: 5/5
Thomas S. Flowers is the published author of several character driven stories of dark fiction. He resides in Houston, Texas, with his wife and daughter. He is published with The Sinister Horror Company’s horror anthology The Black Room Manuscripts. His debut novel, Reinheit, is published with Shadow Work Publishing, along with The Incredible Zilch Von Whitstein and Apocalypse Meow. His military/paranormal thriller series, The Subdue Series, both Dwelling and Emerging and Conceiving (coming soon), are published with Limitless Publishing, LLC. In 2008, he was honorably discharged from the U.S. Army where he served for seven years, with three tours serving in Operation Iraqi Freedom. In 2014, Thomas graduated from University of Houston Clear Lake with a BA in History. He blogs at machinemean[dot]org, where he does author interviews and reviews on a wide range of strange yet oddly related topics. You can keep up with Thomas and all his strange books by joining his author newsletter, at http://goo.gl/2CozdE.
You can get Reinheit for only $2.99 on Amazon!