Book Featurette: Final Review
Warning: Some Scenes May Disturb. Every author knows that paying too much attention to bad reviews will only lead to trouble, and Emma’s about to find this out the hard way, thanks to her boyfriend, Wade. After the success and praise received from her first book, the two that followed haven’t done so well, and the less than shining reviews have disheartened Emma to the point where she considers pulling her books and perhaps even giving up writing altogether. Wade will have none of that, however. When Emma tells Wade reviewers are calling her books “unrealistic,” Wade sets out to teach Emma how to add realism to her horror stories. Just how “real” things get goes far beyond Emma’s expectations.
What readers are saying about Final Review:
“DC + JL’s ‘Final Review’ is a train-wreck of a story, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. You stop, you stare, you gape. Eventually, you realize there will be no order to the chaos and destruction and watch with one eye closed and jaw clenched tight. To brave this well-written but totally insane journey through the rigors of human hell (kidnapping, torture, rape, murder etc.) is a trip that will never be forgotten. Read at your own peril. You may just get thrown under the train.” -Amazon Reviewer.
“Another great extreme horror story from Dawn. She is one of the best authors of this type of story. I look daily for her new books and was sure worth the wait from her last book. I hope we get another great extreme story sooner than later. This was sad but a great story.” -Amazon Reviewer
“Speaking of bad reviews, here’s mine. I absolutely hated this story. Had I known there was so much sex in it, I wouldn’t have got it. I love horror, but not erotic, torture horror. I kept reading because I adore Dawn Cano’s writing, and there’s usually a kicker at the end. I should have just stopped. The only reason I gave this tale 3 stars is because it was well written, and most people who like extreme horror will probably like this also. I’ll be back for Dawn’s next story, but I should’ve passed on this one.” -Lisa
“Oh boy, just when you think Dawn Cano hasn’t had enough wine after cooking babies, endearing hit men, here comes Final Review. A bats**it crazy writer (but not Dawn, ok are we clear?) who goes on a ‘let’s create a story from experience’ adventure with her boyfriend. Just when you think you cannot possibly get more disturbed, Dawn Cano is your answer. obviously more wine has to head your way!” -Colleen Cassidy
You can get your copy of Final Review for $0.99!!!
Dawn Cano, aka The Queen of Extreme, is the author of Final Review(w/ John Ledger), Cash Out, Violent Delights (w/ Lewis Duncan), and several other extreme horror stories. Her latest project, editor for VS: US Vs. UK, which is a horror anthology that is currently a top seller on Amazon, pulling several up and coming authors. She also writes reviews for The Ginger Nuts of Horror. You can keep up with her work here.
Fright Fest: The Unborn (2009)
Released in 2009, The Unborn stars Odette Yustman as Casey Beldon, a young woman who begins experiencing strange things after babysitting a young couple’s two small children. While babysitting, Casey thinks she hears one of the children stirring, so, of course, she goes upstairs to investigate. She discovers the four-year-old son holding a mirror in front of his baby sister’s face. When Casey confronts him, the boy casually looks up and says, “Jumby is ready to be born now,” before smacking her in the face. Supposedly, superstition dictates that an infant shouldn’t see his/her reflection until he/she reaches a year old, and if they do, it means the baby will die.
Does the baby die? You’ll have to watch the movie to find out.
Anyway, Casey has weird recurring dreams about finding a blue glove while she’s out jogging…a glove that belongs to a child. She picks up the glove and turns around to find a creepy little boy staring at her.
She confides in her best friend, Romy, (played by Meagan Good) and her boyfriend, Mark, (played by Cam Gigandet) who tries to dismiss Casey’s fear with a number of various excuses. Meanwhile, one of Casey’s eyes begins changing color, which leads her to contact an eye doctor.
During her visit, the doctor suggests that Casey must be a twin, to which she replies that she’s an only child. More investigating leads her to question her father, who reveals Casey had a twin brother who died in utero when her umbilical cord became wrapped around his neck. Although neither child was named that early in the pregnancy, the boy’s nickname was “Jumby.”
Now, what I’ve failed to mention until this point is that Casey’s mother committed suicide after an apparently bad episode of depression. Trying to find out why she killed herself, Casey begins exploring some of her mother’s things and comes across an article cut from a newspaper regarding a Holocaust survivor. Casey visits the old woman armed with a creepy photo and the newspaper article, to find out the connection between the two.
The old woman, Sofi, freaks out when Casey shows her the photo and denies knowing Casey’s mother, but then calls her later on and says she was lying. After meeting with Sofie again, Casey discovers she’s Sofie’s granddaughter and that she too, was once a twin. Her twin brother died in a German concentration camp. Sofie reveals that the spirit of Casey’s unborn twin brother is caught between earth and Hell, and is trying to find a way to cross over.
Things become weirder as time passes and Casey learns that there is a spirit that preys on twins, and becomes progressively stronger from each being it passes through. It begins with insects, then moves on to small animals, larger animals, and well, you get the point. It’s looking for a twin who’s lost a sibling and will stop at nothing to get what it wants, even killing Casey’s friends and family.
Casey turns to a rabbi to help her. Rabbi Sendak, (played by Gary Oldman) agrees to perform a Jewish exorcism on the woman, and the procedure begins. As always, the demon is driven away, and although a few deaths occur, there is sort of a happy ever after.
Now, this is the part where I tell you what I thought of this movie. Before I begin, though, I have to disclose that my favorite horror film of all time is The Exorcist...the original exorcism film. All others tend to fail miserably, in my opinion. That said, The Unborn does have its moments.
Some of the special effects in The Unborn were very well done. There is one scene, in particular, that stands out. The demon visits Sofie in the nursing home and inhabits a man who’s had a stroke. Normally, the old man is a prisoner in his own mind, unable to speak or move, but with his “visitor,” he chases Sofie around in a scene reminiscent of the spider walk in The Exorcist. Very creepy. Unfortunately, many of the special effects in the film were shown in the trailer, so there was little in the way of a “wow factor” during the film itself.
Let’s move on to the plot. Yawn. Oh, sorry. Did I do that out loud?
Since The Exorcist premiered in 1973, directors and producers have been trying to recapture that magic in exorcism movies, and, as I said earlier, most fail abysmally. Although the premise of this movie was somewhat original, (Can something haunt you if it was never born?) the story progresses quite predictably. The weirdness starts small and grows exponentially in the hour and a half film until the afflicted seeks outside help. The outside help, in this case, the rabbi, tries to tell Casey she’s got mental issues instead of believing her at first. He soon takes her side and agrees to help.
I felt the exorcism scene in The Unborn was rushed, totally unrealistic, and completely unfulfilling. The demon bounces around from person to person kills a few people and is suddenly gone. Yawn. Been there, done that. Several times. Perhaps, if you’ve seen one exorcism film, you’ve seen them all.
The acting was mediocre at best. Nothing spectacular, and I did expect a little more from Gary Oldman. There are the gratuitous shots of Casey in her underwear and one subdued sex scene that I felt was necessary to show how close Casey and Mark were. At the beginning, Casey was a little wooden, a cookie cutter victim, but she got a little better as the movie advanced.
For those not quite as versed in horror as I am, you may like this film. There are far too many pointless scare attempts in this film for my taste, but some people like that kind of thing. It has a slightly creepy vibe throughout, but as for true terror, it falls flat. For those of us who struggle to find something to scare us, or, at the very least, creep us out, this film was a bit of a letdown. If you’re looking for a Jewish take on The Exorcist, this is it, although I’ve never heard anyone say, “Gee, what would happen if a Jewish rabbi performed an exorcism?”
All in all, The Unborn didn’t totally suck, but it’s not a movie I will watch again.
Dawn Cano (aka The Queen of Extreme Horror) is no stranger to Machine Mean. Miss Cano has always been a fan of horror, she loves everything about the genre and has just begun her journey into the world of horror writing. When not pounding away at the keyboard, she can be found reviewing books and movies for The Ginger Nuts of Horror and wasting time on Facebook. Dawn has also started what will no doubt be a fantastic career as a storyteller. You can find her books, including Sleep Deprived and Bucket List, *Warning: Some Scenes May Disturb for both of these wonderfully gruesome tales. And you can check out her previous review of Frankensteinhere.
And as always, if you enjoyed what you’ve read here on Machine Mean, please subscribe to our author mailing list by clicking on the FREE BOOK image below to not only receive updates on sales and new releases, but also a free anthology of dark fiction.
Universal Monsters in Review: Our Awesomely Horrifying Guest Authors
And that’s a wrap. The end of Universal Monsters in Review has come. Much as I said during last week’s review on the silent era of horror, I will certainly miss my weekend screening of these horrible yet awesome classic black and white pictures from the vault of Universal. I’d like to actually start making this a thing, something set aside for my weekend leisure, putting in ole Frankenstein or his Bride or The Wolf Man or The Mummy or Dracula, or even some of the lesser-known flicks, like Invisible Agent or any of the A&C ones. To think of the impact these movies had on future movie makers, and not just those dark producers and directors, but also the writers, both on screen and on print, is mind boggling. Personally speaking, the Universal classics have impacted some of my own creature/monster creations. And still do. The underlying mythos is nearly too much to avoid. These are the pillars for a reason. Certainly the same could be said of this up and coming generation of young writers and even the guest authors we’ve had during this series, tackling the movies that inspired them in some way. So, on this very last Universal Monsters in Review review, I’d like to shout out to all my guest authors that participated, the movie(s) they reviewed and a little bit about them and where you can buy their work.
Our Guests
(in order of appearance)
Daniel Marc Chant – Reviewed for us both The Mummy (1932) and The Creature Walks Among Us (1956). Mr. Chant is the published author of several terrifying tales, including Maldicion, Burning House, and his newest venture, Mr. Robespierre. Daniel is also one of the founders of The Sinister Horror Company, the publishing team that brought us such frights as, The Black Room Manuscripts and God Bomb!. You can follow Daniel on his blog, here. And you can read his review on Mummy here.
Jeffery X. Martin – Reviewed for us The Wolf Man (1941) and The Invisible Man’s Revenge (1944) and Revenge of the Creature (1955). Mr. X is the published author of several stories that are sure to shock, including those in the Elder’s Keep universe and Tarotsphere. He also published a fantastic tale in The Black Room Manuscripts. His latest novel, Hunting Witches, is now available on Amazon’s blood-soaked altar. You can find his work on Amazon. When Mr. X is not writing creep mind-benders, he’s the host and/or contributor to several podcasts and blogs, including, but not limited to, Pop Shiftier and Kiss the Goat. You can read his review on Wolf Man here.
Duncan Ralston– Reviewed for us The Invisible Man (1933). Mr. Ralston is not just a wonderful human being, but also the author of gruesome tales like Salvage: A Ghost Story, and the horror collection, Gristle & Bone. He’s been published in a various of anthologies, including The Black Room Manuscripts and The Animal, and the anthology,Easter Eggs and Bunny Boilers. His latest book will sure to knock your socks off, Woom. You can follow and chat with him atwww.facebook.com/duncanralstonfiction and www.duncanralston.com. You can read his review on Invisible Man here.
Dawn Cano – Reviewed for us legendary Frankenstein (1931). Miss Cano has always been a fan of horror, she loves everything about the genre and has just begun her journey into the world of horror writing. When not pounding away at the keyboard, she can be found reviewing books and movies for The Ginger Nuts of Horror and wasting time on Facebook. Dawn has also started what will no doubt be a fantastic career as a storyteller. You can find her books, including Sleep Deprived and Bucket List, *Warning: Some Scenes May Disturb for both of these wonderfully gruesome tales. And you can check out her review of Frankenstein here.
Kit Power – Reviewed for us both The Bride of Frankenstein (1935) and Monster Mash Pinball Game. Mr. Power lives in the UK and writes fiction that lurks at the boundaries of the horror, fantasy, and thriller genres, trying to bum a smoke or hitch a ride from the unwary. In his secret alter ego of Kit Gonzo, he also performs as front man (and occasionally blogs) for death cult and popular beat combo The Disciples Of Gonzo. He is the published author of such works as, GodBomb!, Lifeline, and has contributed to numerous anthologies, including The Black Room Manuscripts, Widowmakers, and upcoming Easter Eggs and Bunny Boilers. You can read Kit’s review of Bride here.
Justin Park – Reviewed for us both Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) and Werewolf in London (1935). Mr. Park draws from the crazy worlds of exploitation cinema and pulp literature for his literary inspiration. His family are both equally proud and disturbed by his literary output dragged from a mind they helped to cultivate. He resides on the outskirts of Bristol in the UK and hopes one day they’ll let him in. Mr. Park is the author of several twisted tales of morbid doom, including Upon Waking and Terror Byte and Punch. He was also featured with a horrifyingly wonderful short in the horror anthology The Black Room Manuscripts. Besides giving his readers terrifying nightmares, Mr. Park is also one of the founding members of the up and coming UK Publishing team, The Sinister Horror Company, active in promoting other writers and attending numerous conventions. You can read his review on A&C Meet Frank here.
William D. Prystuak – Reviewed for us Dracula’s Daughter (1936). Professor Prystuak is an award-winning screenwriter, film producer, and teacher in higher education, as well as a published poet, and essayist. His crime thriller, BLOODLETTING, has been adapted from his script of the same name, and he is currently working on a horror series. William also co-hosts THE LAST KNOCK podcast as Billy Crash with his good buddy, Jonny Numb, and currently, has thousands of listeners in 120 countries. You can find more about horror and William on his Crash Palace Productions site. As an Assistant Professor of English at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania, William teaches business writing and public relations. You can find more about William at any of these fantastic sites: Amazon: http://amzn.to/1Fu9PHS Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/1GhclaJ Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23365977-bloodletting BLOODLETTING Book Trailer One: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVNji_G-tSI BLOODLETTING Book Trailer Two: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glK9DiVIHT8 IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5464477/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1 Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/pub/william-d-prystauk/10/9a1/a55 Horror Podcast: THE LAST KNOCK on iTunes Twitter: @crashpalace. You can read Professor Prystuak’s review of Drac’s Daughter here.
Michelle Garza – Reviewed for us She Wolf of London (1946). Michelle Garza, one-half of the writing team based out of Arizona. Her sister, Melissa Lason, and Miss. Garza have been dubbed The Sisters of Slaughter by the editors at Fireside Press. Since a young age, they have enjoyed crafting tales of the dark and macabre. Their work has been included in anthologies such as WIDOWMAKERS a benefit anthology of dark fiction, WISHFUL THINKING by Fireside press and soon to be published REJECTED FOR CONTENT 3 by JEA. To be included in FRESH MEAT 2015 is an incredible honor for the sisters. Their debut novel, Mayan Blue, released with Sinister Grin Press. You can keep track of Michelle and the Sisters of Slaughter’s budding writing career by following them on Twitter and Facebook. You can read her review of She Wolf here.
Duncan P. Bradshaw – Reviewed for us Invisible Agent (1942). Mr. Bradshaw lives in MIGHTY Wiltshire, with his wife Debbie and their two cats, Rafa and Pepe. Their barbershop quartet days may be behind them now, but they can still belt out a mean version of ‘Deepy Dippy’ by Right Said Fred when the mood catches them right. Duncan’s debut novel, zom-com, “Class Three,” was released in November 2014. The first book in the follow-up trilogy, “Class Four: Those Who Survive,” shambled into life in July 2015. Both have received glowing reviews. In early 2016, he released his debut Bizarro novella, “Celebrity Culture”, which has been well received, despite its oddness. Not content with resting on his laurels, Prime Directive blasts off in May 2016, a sci-fi/horror novella which pleased fellow founder J.R. Park. Before the main attraction…Duncan finished writing “Hexagram” in late 2015, a novel set over five hundred years, which follows an ancient ritual and how people throughout the years twist the original purpose to their own end. You can find all of Mr. Bradshaw’s work on the bloodied altar of Amazon. And you can read his review of Invisible 007 here.
Chantel Feszczyn (aka Chaney Dreadful) – Reviewed for us House of Frankenstein (1944). Miss Dreadful — is one creepy ghoul hailing from a small city in Saskatchewan, Canada. She is a regular podcast voice frequenting on the podcasts, with the first being Dead as Hell Horror Podcast, and as well the likes of The Resurrection of Zombie 7, Land of the Creeps andWhedonverse Podcast. For the last three years she has brought her focus towards written reviews, posting occasionally on her Tumblr blog and recently moving to her new website dreadfulreviews.com — where she posts weekly reviews discussing movies, comic books and horror-themed merchandise. You can read her review of Frank’s House here.
Daryl Lewis Duncan – Reviewed for us Abbott and Costello Meet The Invisible Man (1951). Mr. Duncan is an up and coming writer and graphic artist and one smashing guitarist. You can find his work on numerous book covers recently released this year, including books by Dawn Cano, Duncan Ralston, and myself (Thomas S. Flowers). He also has upcoming projects with the likes of Kit Power and Rich Hawkins. Some of Mr. Duncan’s publishing work includes Violent Delights, in which he co-wrote with Dawn Cano. He is an avid reader and supporter of fellow indie writers. His artwork is stylized in a retro, space-age grunge, 70s grindhouse. Yup, it is that awesome! You can read his review on A&C Meet Invisible Man here.
Jon Weidler – Reviewed for us Abbott and Costello Meet The Mummy (1955). Mr. Weidler works for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania by day but is a podcast superhero by night. He co-hosts THE LAST KNOCK horror podcast under the moniker “Jonny Numb,” and is a regular contributor to the Crash Palace Productions and Loud Green Bird websites. His archived movie reviews can be found at numbviews.livejournal.com, and his social media handle is @JonnyNumb (Twitter & Letterboxd). You can read his review of A&C Meet Mummy here.
Tim Busbey – Reviewed for us The Mummy’s Ghost (1942). Mr. Busbey is an award-winning editor and journalist who currently is the Assistant Editor at Richland Source (www.RichlandSource.com) and Ashland Source (www.AshlandSource.com). Tim also does freelance book editing and is a partner with Erin Al-Mehairi in Hook of A Book Media and Publicity. When he’s not editing other people’s stories or reporting on all the happenings in Ashland, Ohio, Tim writes sci-fi, thrillers and horror. You can read his review of Mummy’s Ghost here.
Pembroke Sinclair – Reviewed for us The Mummy’s Curse (1944). Miss. Sinclair is a literary jack of all trades, playing her hand at multiple genres. She has written an eclectic mix of fiction ranging from horror to sci-fi and even some westerns. Born in Rock Springs, Wyoming–the home of 56 nationalities–it is no wonder Pembroke ended up so creatively diverse. Her fascination with the notions of good and evil, demons and angels, and how the lines blur have inspired her writing. Pembroke lives in Laramie, Wyoming, with her husband, two spirited boys, a black lab named Ryder, and a rescue kitty named Alia, who happens to be the sweetest, most adorable kitty in the world! She cannot say no to dessert, orange soda, or cinnamon. She loves rats and tatts and rock and roll and wants to be an alien queen when she grows up. You can learn more about Pembroke Sinclair by visiting her at pembrokesinclair.blogspot.com. You can follow the very talented Pembroke on Facebook Amazon Twitter Or at her blog. You can read her review on Mummy’s Curse here.
David Sgalambro – Reviewed for us The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942). MR. SGALAMBRO is a horror writer at J. Ellington Ashton Press and a contributing Writer at Resident Rock Star Magazine. He was born in New York, but spent the majority of his life sweltering down in Florida. Growing up, he was obsessed with every 1960’s Monster magazine on the newsstand (He still has hundreds of them that he can’t bear to part with ….ever) and any Horror movie his eyes could watch (He blames some of his lunacy upon seeing the original Night of the Living Dead at the age of nine). His continuous love for the genre has kept him in movie theaters throughout his life indulging in all of the decade’s bloodiest moments, but not up until recently has he tapped into his own dark inner voice as a writer, and brought forth his compelling debut novel published by J. Ellington Ashton Press titled NED. It’s his first attempt at the literary game and he credits his love of Horror for its terrifying content. David is currently working on his second novel which once again explores the darkest depths of his maniacal mind for inspiration and creativity. David’s other current literary escape is as a contributing writer for a music publication called Resident Rock Star magazine out of Colorado. With them he gets the freedom to write about what’s happening in the current music scene pertaining to his own personal taste, Heavy Metal. You can read his review on Ghost of Frank here.
Patrick Loveland – Reviewed for us The Invisible Man Returns (1940). MR. LOVELAND writes screenplays, novels, and shorter prose fiction. He also draws somewhat disturbing imagery on Post-its. By day, he schedules classes, helps instructors get set up for class sessions, possibly draws said weird Post-its, and moves many a furniture at a state college in Southern California where he lives with his wife and young daughter. His stories have appeared in anthologies published by April Moon Books, Bold Venture Press, and the award-winning Crime Factory zine. Mr. Loveland’s first novel, A TEAR IN THE VEIL, will be published in late 2016 by April Moon Books. You can connect with Patrick on Twitter:https://twitter.com/pmloveland Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pmloveland/ Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00S78LF9M Or Blog [under construction]:https://patrickloveland.wordpress.com/ You can read his review on Invisible Man’s Return here.
Chad Clark – Reviewed for us House of Dracula (1945). Mr. Clark is a midwestern author of horror and science fiction. His artistic roots can be traced back to the golden era of horror literature, Stephen King, and Robert McCammon being large influences. His love for horror began as well in the classic horror franchises of the eighties. He resides in Iowa with his wife and two sons. Clark’s debut novel, Borrowed Time, was published in 2014. His second novel, A Shade for Every Season was released in 2015, and in 2016 Clark published Behind Our Walls, a dark look at the human condition set in a post-apocalyptic world. His latest book, Down the Beaten Path, released in September 2016. You can keep up with all of Mr. Clark’s works by following him on Amazon here. And you can read his review of House of Drac here.
Matt Shaw – Reviewed for us The Invisible Woman (1940). Mr. Shaw is the published author of over 100 titles – all readily available on AMAZON. He is one of the United Kingdom’s leading – and most prolific – horror authors, regularly breaking the top ten in the chart for Amazon’s Most Popular Horror Authors. With work sometimes compared to Stephen King, Richard Laymon, and Edward Lee, Shaw is best known for his extreme horror novels (The infamous Black Cover Range), Shaw has also dabbled in other genres with much success; including romance, thrillers, erotica, and dramas. Despite primarily being a horror author, Shaw is a huge fan of Roald Dahl – even having a tattoo of the man on his arm; something he looks to whenever he needs a kick up the bum or inspiration to continue working! As well as pushing to release a book a month, Shaw’s work is currently being translated for the Korean market and he is currently working hard to produce his own feature length film. And speaking of films… Several film options have been sold with features in the very early stages of development. Watch this space. Matt Shaw lives in Southampton (United Kingdom) with his wife Marie, his bastard cat Nellie and three rats – Roland, Splinter, and Spike. He used to live with Joey the Chinchilla and Larry the Bearded Dragon but they died. At least he hoped they did because he buried them. You can follow Mr. Shaw and delve into his work by following his site at www.mattshawpublications.co.uk AND on Facebook at www.facebook.com/mattshawpublications.co.uk. You can read his review of the infamous Invisible Woman here.
And there you have them. Please join me in giving them a huge round of applause and thanks for agreeing to participate in this new endeavor here on Machine Mean. And be sure to check out all their awesome work by following the links provided under each bio. Now, what? Well, keep your socks on, October is just around the bend and we’ve got an awesome event in store for you. Machine Mean’s Freight Fest 2016, featuring 21 guest authors reviewing 21 dark fiction movies of their own choosing running from October day 1 thru day 31. That’s right, I let 21 weirdos pick their own movies to review and they’ve selected some rather awesome flicks, ranging from the 1960s to released just last month. You can follow news and updates regarding Freight Fest by following our Facebook page here. And as always, if you enjoyed what you’ve read here on Machine Mean, please subscribe to our author mailing list by clicking on the FREE BOOK image below to not only receive updates on sales and new releases, but also a free anthology of dark fiction.
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